2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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