I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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