I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
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Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
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You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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