Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
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On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
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I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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