I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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