Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
In America we eat man semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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