He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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