areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize