I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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