Got a toothbrush?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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