girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Randomize