my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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