I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize