Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
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from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
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WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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