when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
