What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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