if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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