Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
BRING THE BAGELS
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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