apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize