the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize