I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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