Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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