he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
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please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
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Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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