ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
i need some magic done to my vagina
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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