I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize