if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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