I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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