Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize