i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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