I just cut my nipple shaving
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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