You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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