when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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