i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
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My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
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We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize