I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize