omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize