Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
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