There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
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