One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize