I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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