Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
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