Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
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Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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