yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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