i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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