I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
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I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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