This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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