I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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