So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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