she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
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Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
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Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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