I wish I could punch you in the face.
I cockslap morals
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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