is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
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I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
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idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
We need a shit load of segways right now
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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