she's into porn, im staying here tonight
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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